Bear Pelts

  This time of year many people wonder how to keep themselves and their loved ones warm. From my experience the best answer is bear pelts. For the normal sized adult one bear pelt will do fine, for the young ones you might get a few coverings out of one pelt. If one bear’s worth of fur does not fit you comfortably you should look into a new exercise routine. You do have to take into consideration the creating of boots, but in that case deer skins do very well. For today I will focus on pelts.
  Some of you might be unfamiliar with wearing skins and pelts, and it’s possible you do not have access to all the appropriate tools for acquiring a pelt. Again I will keep myself on topic, although acquiring them may prove to be difficult (but you’ll have great memories), the wearing of the pelts is very simple.
  The easiest way to look good in your pelt is to begin with an attractive bear. Many people enjoy polar bears due to their eye-catching color. I find them to be a bit too flashy, and beyond that they don’t work with my complexion. I look best in a nice long haired grizzly. The red highlights of their coat complement my beard, but they are difficult to tailor.
  Tailoring your pelt is involved, but I am sure even the untrained person can accomplish the task. The basic pattern calls for two large squares, generally equal in size. I say generally equal because it is necessary to be honest with yourself and consider whether your body’s shape is generally equal. Some of us have big barrel chests and thin waits, some of us have the opposite.  Estimate the best you can where the extra is needed and cut your pelt accordingly. If you cannot decide for yourself (as to whether you are pear or apple shaped), I’m sure you have a trusted friend that will be all too happy to tell you.
  After cutting your pelt it is time to lash it together. For this you’ll need a few yards of thin hide or innards and a strong tool for piercing the pelt. I find it best to choose one side that will stay tied together and the other that can be opened and closed for easy access. I am right handed so the left side of my pelt stays lashed together while the right side is prepared for tying off.
  There are several variations to the basic pattern. Generally you need a hole in the top center and one on each side, assuming you returned unscathed from acquiring your pelt. Lash the two sides of your new bear shirt together as you see fit. The bottom line is if it stays between you and the cold it is working. Certainly some people are more interested in fashion, they can pursue further alterations.
  About laundering your pelt. There is nothing worse than a bear pelt that has begun to get matted and foul. It’s best if you have a trusted pelt cleaner.  But where can you find someone with those skills? So then you must clean the pelt yourself.  But who has the time? And with the time it takes to dry without the assistance of the hot sun you are best off just waiting till the salmon start to swim upstream and do it properly.
  You may have realized that if you follow this bear pelt pattern your forearms are currently open to the elements. As cold as it is these days it is wise to find something to cover them. Something in cotton is really the best option, several layers of cotton.